By now, you know that I’m going to post something on this day, and you know it’s been a long, long time since your favorite game has gotten a news update. Worry no more, because both news update, and patch release, are finally here.
But first, let me talk about my other favorite character in Tales of Hearts, Kunzite. There’s nothing really important in this paragraph, so feel free to skip it if you want, but if you want to listen to me exposit about what a cool guy he is, stick around. Where do I even begin? First of all, he’s a robot, which automatically makes him awesome. (Technically, a Mechanoid, but whatever.) He has a bunch of armor, so he’s sturdy in combat–he can tank all the punishment all the baddies across Celland can dish out and then some, all without batting an eye. (Just make sure none of them cast any spells; he’s allergic to those.) And he even covers it up with stylish corduroy pants so you’re not blinded by the sun reflecting off that plating all the time. Second, despite being a robot, he learns to form Bonds and Fight with his Heart, because he realizes that doing so is only logical in a world where friendship literally makes you more powerful. Third, he has USB ports handy to charge your smartphone (probably). Don’t you hate when it runs low on battery halfway through the day? The Hearts party never has to deal with that. Fourth, he is the straight man that shuts down the rest of the party whenever they are saying something stupid. This is an important feature to have when a lot of the party, despite their other merits, is or acts stupid fairly often. Fifth, his weaponry. A dagger on each arm? That might be enough for most people, but not for Kunzite. He has a Soma that generates more tentacle arms that also have daggers on them. How cool is that? Seriously, check out how he uses all four daggers in tandem in some of his artes in battle–it’s really neat. There are plenty of other reasons why Kunzite is really cool, but my fingers are getting tired, so I’ll stop here for now.
Anyway, back to the patch release. You guessed correctly–it’s Tales of the World: Narikiri Dungeon 3!
Released in 2005, this handheld escort title once again places you in the shoes of orphans Julio Sven and Caro Orange (no relation to Julio and Caro from Narikiri Dungeon 2). In a universe where the Tales games all took place on the same planet, far in the past, the youths’ mentor Doc Brown has restored a time machine they found in the ruins of an advanced civilization conveniently located just outside town. Just as they are about to act out the greatest self-insert fanfic of all time, the time machine is stolen from under their noses!
Luckily, Doc Brown comes back from the future again in a second time machine so they can travel to the past to save the present with the fabled power left to them by the advanced civilization–the power of Roleplaying.
It’s another Tales crossover title, this time with the twist that it’s an SRPG in which you can have up to 12 party members that you can order around a map. As for translation progress, you can now play up to the end of the second mission in English. After that point, I hope you’ve brushed up on your Japanese skills. If you’re interested, head on over to the Narikiri Dungeon 3 project page to grab it.
That’s all for now. Have a happy April Fools!